I’m 32 years old. I’ve never been a professional athlete- in fact I didn’t even play college ball.

But I train like one. I focus on my training, goals, recovery, and preparation like I’m a pro.

Not because I think I’m going pro (I promise I’m not delusional LOL), but because I take my goals and myself seriously.

Being an athlete is at my core. It’s a part of who I am.

A little background

For a few years in college I didn’t feel like my full self. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. Then I started playing intramural sports and I literally felt alive again.

Playing sports and competing is me. It lights me up and fulfills me in a way I can’t describe. It gives me direction, purpose, community and goals, and I absolutely love it.

Then after college, same thing. I got busy working and doing “life.” No sports. I was still a gym rat but something was missing and I didn’t even realize it.

Until I found pickleball.

Then I became a little obsessed

This sport lit me up again. It became a little bit of an obsession (if you’ve played, you know how addicting it is 😅).

And here’s the funny part. I was not good at it. No racquet sports background and no clue about the rules.

But I was fascinated and I wanted to learn.

So I did what any millennial does when they discover pickleball… I went completely and utterly all in. 😂 I did my YouTube deep dive on how to keep score, what the rules are, how to improve… all the things.

Then I found out there are local tournaments almost every weekend, and I knew I had to compete. Two reasons:

1. It gave me a goal, and this bitch loves goals 😂

2. The athlete in me wants to compete

So here’s what “training like an athlete” looks like for me

I eat clean. I drink plenty of water. I take my supplements. I train off the court. I stretch, foam roll, take ice baths, get deep tissue massages, use compression boots, sit in the sauna, and limit alcohol and sugar. 🧊

Is that a lot for an amateur pickleball player? Yes.

But when I do something, I’m all in. I’m going to give it everything I’ve got and have fun along the way. I’m a very passionate person, and I’ve learned to embrace it instead of shrinking it. When I set a goal, I go after it with everything I have.

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Then I got injured (again)

So a few months ago I tore my meniscus (again) and got a bone bruise as a bonus. Cool cool. 🙃

After months of appointments, scans, and seeing multiple providers I finally got to see my Physical Therapist. They saw me for 10 minutes and said “come back in 2 weeks” without a plan or guidance. So I took my recovery into my own hands. I researched physical therapists and found one who specializes in return-to-sport protocols. He’s worked with professional baseball players, soccer players, jiu jitsu athletes, you name it.

And no, I’m not a professional athlete. But my body deserves to be treated like one. I want to play sports and live my life without limits for as long as I can. Now I’m working with someone I’m confident will get me back stronger than before. 💪

So here’s what I believe. If you want something, you have to go after it.

Don’t sit in the desire forever. Wanting something is great, but making the plan and actually going after it is what makes your life extraordinary.

“But Brooke, I’m not an athlete”

Stay with me- this is relevant no matter what your goals are.

Maybe your goal is to lose 10 pounds. Or run your first 5K. Or finally start the business. Or go to the gym three times a week consistently.

So let me ask you something. How do you talk about your goal?

Is it “oh, it’s just a little thing I’m trying”? Or do you not tell anyone at all, so it’s not a big deal if it doesn’t happen?

Because here’s the thing. If you don’t believe in your goal and take it seriously, you won’t achieve it.

I’m not being dramatic. This is how your brain works. Your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings drive what you do (or don’t do).

Here’s what it looks like when you don’t take your goal seriously:

• Thought: “It’s just a little goal.”

• Feeling: indifferent

• Action: You skip the gym even though you planned on it and order takeout instead of cooking.

• Result: no progress, and now your brain has “proof” that it didn’t matter anyway.

And here’s what it looks like when you do:

• Thought: “This matters to me.”

• Feeling: committed, determined

• Action: You pack your gym bag the night before and go even though you don’t feel like it.

• Result: you’re actually moving toward the thing you want.

Same person with the same goal, and a very different outcome.

An athlete doesn’t skip practice because it’s “just practice.” She shows up because she decided the goal matters. You can decide that too.

How to take your goals seriously

1. Say your goal like you mean it.
No “kind of,” no “we’ll see.” Make it measurable and give it a date.

“I’m running a 5K on [date].”

Say it out loud and tell one person.

📝 Not sure what your goal even is yet? I made a free worksheet for this. The Big Goal Worksheet walks you through picking a goal that actually scares you (in a good way) and building the plan to get there.

It’s free when you subscribe, and it unlocks right here on this page 👇

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2. Prep like it’s game day.
Athletes don’t wing it. Put the workout on your calendar like a doctor’s appointment and pack your bag the night before. Make it easy for future you to show up.

3. Stop waiting for someone else to show up for you.
Believe in yourself and your goal so unapologetically that you show up for you.

4. Show up when you don’t feel like it.
Nobody feels motivated every day. There are days I’m driving to the court or the gym and I really do not want to be there. But I go anyway, because I made a commitment to myself and my goals.

Taking your goals seriously doesn’t mean you can’t have fun

When I say take your goals seriously, a lot of people hear “no fun.” That’s not it.

When I set a goal, having fun is actually part of the plan! I laugh at myself when I whiff an easy shot and I still go to happy hour with my friends.

Taking your goals seriously just means you keep your word to yourself. You can have a blast along the way. You just don’t let “I don’t feel like it” make the decision for you.

You deserve to go after every single thing you want in this life. And it starts with believing your goals and dreams are worth taking seriously.

Ready to take your goal seriously? Start here 👇

Grab my free Big Goal Worksheet. It’s the exact process I use for every big goal, from the questions that turn a wish into a plan all the way to what I do when life gets in the way. Print it, fill it out, put it on your wall.

It’s free when you subscribe, and it unlocks right here on this page 👇

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And drop it in the comments: what’s the goal you’re finally going to take seriously? I read every single one 🫶🏼

Like, actual visible abs.

I was prepping for Coachella and I wanted to look good. So I spent weeks depriving myself, doing extra cardio, and feeling like shit pretty much the whole time.

And objectively speaking? I looked good. I was cut. I had the abs.

But I still felt insecure about my body. And I hated every second of getting there.

Fast forward to now. I’m 32 and I love my body, whether I have abs or not. (Spoiler: most of the time I don’t 😂)

And the crazy part is it’s so much easier for me to reach my goals now. I’m going after them from a place of love. They’re just for my own personal growth, not because I think something is wrong with me.

So what changed? Well, it definitely wasn’t my abs. It was how I think about my body.

Let me show you what I mean.

Let’s go through it.

The holidays are coming up (don’t look at the calendar, it’s closer than you think, yay!!! 🎄) and you set a goal: lose 10 pounds before the holidays.

Maybe it’s the family photos. Maybe it’s the dress for the work party. Maybe it’s seeing everyone you haven’t seen since last year.

So let me ask you something. Why do you want to lose 10 pounds?

Take a sec and be real with yourself. I’m guessing it sounds something like:

• “I want to feel confident.”

• “I want to like how I look.”

• “I just don’t love my body right now.”

For me in college it was “I want to look good at Coachella.” Translation: I want to feel confident.

I’ve worked with hundreds of women on body image and eating healthy, and I hear some version of these almost every single time. So what you’re really after is a feeling.

Either you want to feel something good, like confident, happy, proud, cute in that holiday dress. Or you want to stop feeling something bad, like insecure, embarrassed, or like you have to hide in the back of every family photo.

Zoom out and this is true for pretty much everything you do in life. You’re either chasing a feeling or trying to avoid one.

Here’s the catch

The only way to change how you feel is to change your thoughts. Your thoughts cause your feelings. Not your circumstances. Not the number on the scale or how many abs you have.

I know, I know. Hang with me.

Let’s say there are two women and they both weigh 200 pounds.

Woman #1 looks in the mirror and thinks, “I’m fat. I hate my body.”

Woman #2 looks in the mirror and thinks, “I’m strong and beautiful. I love everything my body does for me.”

Woman #1 feels despair and anger.

Woman #2 feels love and kindness.

Same weight. Same circumstance. Totally different thoughts, totally different feelings.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because if you chase a goal and don’t change your thoughts, you’re going to get to the goal and... still have the same feeling. 😬

I’m living proof. I got the abs and still felt insecure, because I never worked on my mind.

Maybe you’ve been there too. You lose the 10 pounds, you feel amazing for like a day and a half, and then your brain goes “okay but now my arms.” The “I don’t like my body” thought just finds a new body part to pick on.

This is why I think doing the work to like yourself FIRST is so important. I’m not saying skip the goal. I’m saying start liking yourself before you get there, not after. It also makes going after the goal wayyyy more fun.

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Hating yourself is also terrible for consistency

Let’s stick with the 10 pound example.

You want to lose 10 pounds because you hate your body. When you think “I hate my body,” how do you feel? Probably sad, angry, insecure.

And when you feel sad, angry and insecure, how do you act?

You’re probably not lacing up your shoes feeling motivated and curious and excited to try that new workout class. You’re more likely on the couch, scrolling, eating the snacks you “weren’t going to buy,” and then feeling even worse about it. Which feeds the thought. Which feeds the feeling. Round and round we go. 🎠

Here’s what that looks like laid out:

• Thought: I hate my body

• Feeling: insecure, defeated

• Action: skip the workout, eat to feel better, avoid the mirror

• Result: no progress, and more “proof” that you should hate your body

It’s like trying to drive to the gym with the parking brake on. You might get there, but it’s going to be slow, loud and miserable.

Can you hate your way to your goal? Sure. I did it! I just think it takes longer, it’s way less enjoyable, and a lot of the time it doesn’t stick.

So how do you NOT hate yourself to your goal?

Step 1: Find the thought that’s causing the pain.

Ask yourself:

• Why do I want to change?

• What do I think I’ll feel when I get there?

• What do I think will be better?

This is personal and there are no right or wrong answers. But here are the ones I hear the most:

• I’m not good enough.

• I’ll be happier when I lose the weight.

• I don’t like how I look.

Whatever yours is, write it down.

Step 2: Start practicing feeling better NOW.

If you’re chasing a goal to feel better, you can start practicing that feeling today. You don’t need the scale’s permission.

BUT. Going from 0 to 100 usually doesn’t work.

If you currently think “I hate my body” and you go stand in front of the mirror and say “I love my body!!”... it’s going to feel silly and kind of cringe. That’s because you don’t believe it (yet). And a thought you don’t believe isn’t going to do anything for you.

We are not doing toxic positivity here. 🙅‍♀️

Enter: the bridge thought 🌉

A bridge thought is exactly what it sounds like. It bridges the gap between “I hate my body” and “I love my body.” It’s a thought that feels a little better than the one you have now, and, this is the important part, you actually believe it.

Some examples:

• I’m working on liking my body.

• I like that my body allows me to walk.

• I like some things about my body.

• I have a human body.

That last one is my favorite. It sounds almost too simple, but it’s so true. You have a human body. It gets bloated, it has rolls when you sit down, it changes month to month. That’s just what human bodies do. (Have you ever seen a dog look in the mirror and decide it needs to lose 10 pounds before the holidays? Yeah I think not 🐶)

Your new thought does not have to feel amazing. I say it’s good as long as it’s 10% less shitty than your current thinking. We’ll get to feeling amazing eventually, but this is a process. You’re changing neural pathways in your brain that have probably been there for years, maybe even decades.

Ok so pick a thought that’s believable to you and makes you feel 10% less shitty. Then practice it. On purpose. Multiple times a day. Say it out loud, write it down, repeat it while you’re brushing your teeth, sitting at a red light, or when you catch your reflection in a store window.

Think it until it’s second nature. Then build the bridge a little further.

It might go something like this:

I hate my body → I have a human body → My body allows me to walk and I love that → Sometimes I love my body → I love my body 💛

This isn’t a one week thing. Some of these steps might take weeks or months, and that’s totally normal.

So still set the goal

Goals are how we evolve and improve and do hard things, and I will always be here for that. 💪

But know this: if what you’re really searching for is a feeling, like love or acceptance or confidence, you can have that without losing a single pound.

I wish someone had told college me this before Coachella. She already had the abs. What she needed was a kinder inner monologue. 😅

And if you still want to lose the 10 pounds after that? Go for it. You’ll just be doing it as your own best friend instead of your own mean drill sergeant.

Grab a notebook ✍️

1. What goal am I chasing right now, and what feeling do I think it will give me?

2. What’s the thought I’m having about my body today?

3. How does that thought make me feel, and how do I act when I feel that way?

4. What’s one bridge thought I actually believe?

5. When will I practice it this week? (Pick a real moment, like your morning coffee.)

If this one hit home, send it to a friend who’s been fighting with her mirror lately. And if you’re not subscribed yet, hit the button so the next one lands right in your inbox. 💌

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Everyone told me the medical field was the safe bet. Stable, recession proof, “people will always get sick, Brooke.”

Then I got laid off from my job as a Physician Assistant and learned that stability is more of a vibe than a guarantee. 😅

But it didn’t send me into a spiral the way it would have a few years ago. I immediately knew it was time for something bigger and better, as long as I let myself go there.

And I started dreaming. I have nothing holding me back but my own self, so what is it I actually want to do? What kind of big, impossible goals can I set now?

Here’s what I realized. I didn’t just want the next job I could find. I wanted something that was mine. I wanted to build community. So I set a goal that made my stomach drop a little when I said it out loud: build a Substack with 1,000 subscribers within 3 months.

Which, if you know me at all, is objectively funny. I am a math and science girl. Numbers, labs, systems, protocols. I was never the girl with the annotated novels and the little tabs sticking out of the pages. Writing articles for strangers on the internet is... far fetched for this science nerd.

But here we are, showing up and doing the damn thing.

And that’s kind of the whole point of this article.

Why big goals actually matter (spoiler: it’s not about the goal)

Here’s the part nobody says out loud: the goal itself is almost beside the point.

When you set a goal that’s way bigger than your current life, you can’t reach it as the person you are right now. You have to do things you’ve never done. Learn things you don’t currently know. Be bad at something for a while. Which means you have to become a different, more evolved version of yourself just to get there.

That’s the actual prize. You become more you.

The version of me who has published weekly articles is a different person than the woman who started this Substack. She’s braver, she takes more risks, she puts herself out there. She even has a much higher tolerance for failure. And guess what, I like her a lot. (I haven’t even reached my end goal yet, and I can’t wait to see who I keep becoming.)

Set a goal that stretches your mind, and you will get stretched too.

Say it out loud. Did it feel weird? Good.

If you set a goal and think “that seems doable,” it ain’t it, sis. I want you to go bigger than that. Something that legit makes you a little uncomfortable.

Here’s my test for it: say the goal out loud. Right now, out loud, to your dog if that’s who’s available 🐶 (or to my golden retriever, trust me, he doesn’t judge anyone).

If it makes you a little uncomfortable, kind of embarrassed, slightly like who do I think I am, congrats, you’ve got a good one. 👏🏼

If your reaction is “yeah, I could probably do that,” it’s too small.

It should feel a little scary. And hey, scary can be good right? (I mean, it’s almost spooky season, let’s channel it 👻).

Two rules though, because dreaming without structure is just journaling:

1. Make it measurable. “Get in better shape” is not a goal, it’s a mood. “Run a half marathon” is a goal.

2. Give it an end date. A goal without a deadline will politely wait for you forever. Set a date.

Now be honest: why do you really want this?

This is where most people go sideways, so stay with me.

Check the energy behind the goal. If your why sounds like:

• “I want to stop feeling sad.”

• “I think this will finally make me happy.”

• “I’ll love myself once I’ve done this.”

I’d reevaluate. Not because those feelings are bad or wrong, but because they’re setting you up to be disappointed by your own success.

Because here’s the catch. It’s not even about achieving the goal. It’s about who you have to be while you chase it.

I promise I’m not getting woo-woo on you. When you set a goal that big and that scary, you will have setbacks. You will have weeks where nothing works. You will try something, fail at it, and have to go again. Big goals do not go perfectly, period. And that’s exactly where you start growing. You learn how to keep walking forward even when it feels out of reach.

So what are your reasons for setting a big goal? Here are a few of mine. Steal them if they fit, but the important thing is that you like your reasons:

• I want to challenge myself.

• I want to learn how to fail and keep going.

• I want to grow my capacity for hard things.

• I think it’ll be fun.

• I’ll have to learn new skills, and I like being a person who learns new skills.

Speaking of failing, let me show you my scoreboard

Remember my goal? 1,000 subscribers in 3 months. Want to know where I’m at?

27 subscribers. 😅

Twenty. Seven.

And I’m telling you that on purpose, because according to math (which is my favorite subject btw), I’m failing pretty spectacularly. But I don’t feel like I’m failing at all, because oh my gosh am I learning and growing. I’ve had multiple moments of “why the heck am I doing this?” and then I keep showing up anyway. And also, the “failures” are just data for what I can change.

That’s the part that counts. Not the number. The showing up when the number is a little embarrassing.

And I’m going to keep showing up.

Okay. Your turn. Pick the goal.

Dream a little. Or a lot. What’s something you actually want but have never said out loud because it felt ridiculous?

Some examples to get you going:

• Lose 50 pounds

• Make $1 million

• Get promoted to head manager at work

• Stop drinking

• Run a half marathon

• Leave the job and start a business

It’s your goal. Make it big and beautiful and slightly unhinged.

Write it down before you keep reading. Not in your head. On paper. I’ll wait. ✍️

And PICK A DEADLINE.

By [date], I will [goal].

You’ve done the fun part. You picked the goal and you felt that little zing of oh my gosh, what if.

Now let’s make sure this one doesn’t end up like the last one you set in January.

Below the line is everything that actually gets you there: the 7 questions that turn a goal into an actual plan, my exact step by step process, and the obstacle list I keep on my wall so I already know what I’m going to do before life throws me curveballs. Plus what to actually do when you fall off track, and how to not quit when things get tough.

You also get the printable worksheet, which works for this goal and every goal after it.

Subscribe now so you never miss a beat. Ok happy goal setting 👏🏼

Now here’s the part that actually decides whether your goal stays just a cute idea you had on a Wednesday or you turn it into reality.

It’s time to make a plan.

Below is my full step by step process: the questions I answer for every big goal, how I build the actual plan, the obstacle list I keep ready and a strategy for each, and exactly what I do when I fall off track (because I always do at some point, and so will you).

I also made you a worksheet that you can print and use for every goal you set. Download it, print it, fill it out.

Download The Big Goal Worksheet here.

Grab a pen and real paper. Yes, real paper. Something about writing it by hand makes your brain take it seriously. Keep reading and fill out the worksheet as you go. 💅🏼

Part 1: The seven questions

Answer all of these. Write out full answers, not one word ones. Don’t rush through these, actually give yourself a chance to live inside your goal for a minute.

1. What is your goal? (Make it measurable and give it an end date.)

2. Why do you want to achieve this goal?

3. What will it mean about you if you achieve it?

4. Imagine you’ve already done it. How do you feel?

5. What will still be the same in your life after you achieve it?

6. What will be different?

7. What kind of person do you have to become to pull this off?

Answer all of them, but if you’re going to skip any, at least do question 7. Think about your future self. Who is she? How did she achieve her goal? What does she do every day to show up for her goal?

Here is my answer to #7, the kind of person I have to become to have 1,000 Substack subscribers in 3 months →

• I am a writer

• I am a creative person

• I am dedicated and disciplined

• I am a person who shows up even when I’m tired

• I am a person who thinks deeply about what she wants to write/share

• I am a person who is willing to fail and learn from it

This is how you start living as your future self. She’s already done this. She has all the information. Let her run the show you’d be surprised at how smart she is. 😉

Part 2: Brainstorm every step, start to finish

Now write down every step you can think of to get from here to the goal. Don’t worry about getting it perfect, this is a casual brain dump.

One rule: you are not allowed to write “I don’t know.” Replace it with “I’m figuring it out.” Your brain will actually go looking for answers when you say that. It shuts down completely when you say “I don’t know.”

Here’s an example:

Goal: Lose 20 pounds in 3 months

Steps: Make a meal plan. Make an exercise plan. Buy the gym membership. Set a 10K daily step goal. Progress photos every Monday morning. One gallon of water a day. No alcohol for 3 months. Grocery shop weekly. Order groceries and meal prep on Sundays and Wednesdays. Weigh self weekly.

That’s it. Nothing fancy. Now you never have to wonder what you’re supposed to be doing. The more specific and detailed you can be, the better.

Part 3: The obstacle and strategy list (my favorite part)

Okay, so you’ve written down everything you need to do to achieve your goal.

But what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan? We have a strategy.

Life will happen, that’s guaranteed. The problem is that we try to make decisions in the moment, when we’re tired and hungry and someone is holding a slice of pizza in front of our face two days after we set a weight loss goal. That version of you is not a great decision maker. Bless her.

So we decide today, while we’re calm and clear, what we’ll do when life tests us.

Write two columns. List every obstacle you can imagine, and your exact strategy for each one. See my example below (it is all on the worksheet above, so grab that if you want it ready to fill in).

Notice the last one. Sometimes the strategy is “I’m planning for an exception and I’m not making it mean I failed.” Goals do not and should not mean you don’t enjoy the finer things in life like cake. 🎂

Keep going until you’ve got at least 10 to 15 obstacles and strategies. Include the ugly ones: “I’ll get bored in week three.” “My partner will order takeout.” Anything you can think of that might get in your way.

Part 4: What to do when if you fall off

If you never fall off, good for you honestly. 👏🏼 But you are most likely going to have a bad week at some point. Big goals take long enough that some weeks will objectively be harder than others.

Here’s my protocol.

Ask what you’d tell your friend. If your friend told you she missed 2 days of the gym, you would not tell her she’s lazy and should quit. You’d say “okay, no big deal, what’s the next thing?” Talk to yourself like that. Shame makes people quit, so don’t judge yourself.

Find the actual reason. When you fall off, get very curious about why. You want to be a scientist asking questions, not a critic handing down a verdict. Was the plan too aggressive? Did you not sleep? Were you white knuckling something unsustainable? Falling off is just data, it’s nothing personal and it’s not about who you are. It’s telling you where to adjust. You can even add it to your obstacle and strategy list if it wasn’t there already.

Set a minimum baseline. Decide right now what the bare minimum version of your goal looks like for a truly terrible week. The minimum baseline should be pretty damn easy. So if you originally said 10K steps a day, make your minimum baseline 5K. You shouldn’t need this minimum baseline often, but sometimes life throws multiple curveballs in the same week. Hit your 5K just to keep the identity alive.

Part 5: The three lies your brain will tell you, and how to answer them

Your brain is going to get real chatty around week three. Here’s what it’ll say and what to say back.

• “You’ve already messed it up, may as well stop.” This is the all or nothing thing, and it’s the number one goal killer I’ve seen in years of working with women on this stuff. One bad day does not undo weeks of work. That’s not how bodies, money, or skills work. Instead think: “Nothing has gone wrong. I’m a person who gets back on track.”

• “This is taking too long.” Compared to what? You made this timeline up. The work is the work and it takes as long as it takes. Instead think: “It’s taking exactly as long as it takes. It’s going exactly the way it’s supposed to go.” “I’m still on track, I just might need to adjust my plan.”

• “You’re not the kind of person who does this.” I’m a math and science girl writing articles on the internet. I’m not the kind of person who used to do this, but I am becoming her. Instead think: “I’m becoming the kind of person who does this. I’m learning how.”

Part 6: Hold yourself accountable

Every week (pick a day), take a few minutes and run through these three questions:

1. What did I actually do this week toward my goal?

2. What got in the way, and was it on my obstacle list? If not, add it.

3. Is there anything I want to do differently next week?

That’s it. Add new obstacles as you discover them. Your list gets smarter every week, and after a month or two you basically have a personal instruction manual for your own brain.

Part 7: Look at it daily

Take your goal, your steps, and your obstacle list, and physically put them somewhere you’ll see them every day. Bathroom mirror, fridge, next to your desk. Look at it. Every. Single. Day.

Look, I set a goal that made zero sense for my skill set, I’m 973 subscribers away from it, and I’m doing it anyway. And honestly, I’ve grown and learned so much from it already and I’m not even at my deadline yet.

Drop your goal in the comments in this format:

By [date], I will [goal].

I read every single one and I promise I’m rooting for you.

We’re in this together. 💪

DOWNLOAD BIG GOAL WORKSHEET HERE

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You set the goal: lose 10 pounds in 3 months. You built the workout plan. You built the meal plan. You may have even made a little color-coded tracker, because when we commit, we commit. 📊

Three weeks in, you have a “long week”. Worked late every single night, brain fried, body tired, and your gym bag is sitting by the door staring at you like a golden retriever who needs a walk. 🐶

Skipping one day won’t hurt, right? I’ll go tomorrow.

Then tomorrow shows up, and so does the couch. And the couch has a glass of wine, Netflix, and absolutely zero expectations of you. Besides, you’re stressed from the deadline you have at work. So you take the night off. You’ll catch up on the weekend.

Saturday hits and you’re actually going to go. Then you open your plan and it’s that workout. The one that leaves you on the floor. The workout is hard and I don’t want to. And right on cue your friend texts about dinner, and tacos and a margarita sound wayyyy more fun than the gym.

“I’ll reset Monday.”

Two weeks later and you still haven’t “reset”.

So what actually happened?

It’s not what you think.

Meet your caveman brain

There’s a concept called the motivational triad, and once you see it you cannot unsee it. Three things your brain is hardwired to do:

1. Seek pleasure

2. Avoid pain

3. Use as little energy as possible

Again, this is your cavewoman brain.

And this triad was made to help us. But the problem is, we aren’t cavemen (or women) anymore!

This is how it used to work:

• Back in the day, avoiding pain kept you from being eaten

• Conserving energy kept you alive when you had no clue where the next meal was coming from.

• And seeking pleasure, well, we’ll just say procreation is important

Here’s the problem: you are not a cavewoman. You have a prefrontal cortex, which I like to call your higher brain. It’s the part of you that sets goals, wants to grow, and wants more.

Your higher brain is the one that said “I’m losing 10 pounds in 3 months.”

Your caveman brain is the one that said:

• “It’s been a long week, I’ll skip today.” → conserve energy

• “I’d rather have wine and Netflix.” → seek pleasure

• “The workout is hard and I don’t want to.” → avoid pain

The part nobody warns you about

Setting the goal is the easy part, and quite frankly fun.

But week three, when you’re exhausted and the scale hasn’t changed and the couch is right there?

That’s The Hard Part. It was never the workout, it’s the showing up. Staying committed- because you deserve that.

And here’s what I really want you to hear: if you said you’d work out and you didn’t, that is not a character indictment. Judging yourself is not helpful and shame is a terrible personal trainer.

But it is worth noticing. With curiosity.

Ask: which part of my caveman brain just ran the show?

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The 7 steps back

1. Recognize that nothing has gone wrong. You didn’t fail. Your brain did exactly what brains do. I say to myself “silly brain, of course you want to rest. But that’s not what I’m doing today”. Your caveman brain is trying to help you, but it doesn’t realize it’s actually harming you. This is where you use your higher brain to remind yourself, it’s ok.

2. Get curious, not cruel. Ask why you didn’t follow through, and actually answer it. Pleasure, pain, or energy? Name which one it was. You cannot outsmart a pattern you refuse to look at. Plus, this will help you override it moving forward.

3. Expect the caveman brain to show up. Your caveman brain will always sound more appealing in the moment. It will always win if you let it. This isn’t a bug you fix once, it’s a skill to see when it appears and learn to say “not today”.

4. Notice who’s driving, then take the wheel back. When you catch the caveman brain mid-sentence (“It’s too hard”, “I want to watch Netflix”), that’s your cue to hand the mic back to your higher brain. Why did you set the goal to lose 10 pounds in the first place? How can I show up at least a little bit?

5. Motivation was never the requirement. Here’s my most controversial opinion: you’re not supposed to always want to do it. There will be days you are driving to the gym and you don’t want to be there. That’s normal. That’s most days, actually. Waiting to feel motivated is like waiting for the weather to be perfect before you leave the house. Sometimes you just have to be disciplined.

6. Discipline is keeping your word to yourself. You said you’d show up, so you show up. Discipline is doing what you said you were going to do- no matter what. And the beautiful part: the more you practice it, the easier it gets. The first few times are challenging, but it’s a muscle you can build.

7. Delayed gratification is just better. Instant gratification is a snack. Tastes great, but never fully satisfying. Delayed gratification is the full meal. The wine and Netflix feel great for two hours- they give you instant gratification. Becoming someone who follows through and reaches their goal of losing 10 pounds- that’s delayed gratification. It takes longer, but the satisfaction is so much sweeter.

Reflection questions ✨

Grab a notebook and answer these questions.

1. The last time you didn’t follow through, which part of the triad was in charge? Pleasure, pain, or energy?

2. What did you make it mean about you? And is that thing true, or just familiar?

3. What does your caveman brain typically say right before you skip? Write the exact sentence.

4. What’s one sentence your higher brain can say back the next time you don’t want to follow through?

5. Where in your life are you already disciplined? Why?

6. What’s the smallest promise you could keep to yourself this week that you’re 100% certain you can keep? Keep it.

7. What becomes possible in six months if you stop needing to feel motivated first?

You don’t need a fresh start. You don’t need Monday. You need to notice who’s talking, and then go anyway. 💪

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It’s 10pm and you just got a text from your ex.

The anxiety, frustration and sadness all fill your body. You go full zombie mode and find yourself in your kitchen. You’re standing in front of the freezer, eating ice cream, and before you know it the carton is gone. You barely even remember eating it 😅

So now you hate your ex and yourself. Wonderful 🙃

Sound familiar?

Okay. Let’s break down what actually just happened, because I promise it’s not what you think.

Here’s what we’re covering: why you eat when you don’t even want to, how to figure out what you’re actually feeling, and how to stay on track with your goals even when shit hits the fan.

And listen, if you don’t have a toxic ex who texts you every once in a while, first of all… lucky you 😂 That is genuinely hard to come by. But this still applies to you. Just swap in whatever is actually going on in your life. The mechanism is identical.

First, the facts

Not the story and all the dramatics we tell ourselves. The facts. Only the stuff a security camera would have picked up:

• A text message came in

• Ate ice cream

That’s it. That’s the entire list.

Everything else that happened tonight, all of it, happened inside your head.

Now the thoughts

Here’s what was likely running underneath:

• He shouldn’t be texting me

• I wish he would leave me alone

• He’s so annoying

• I never know what he wants

• I wish we were still together

• I miss him

Maybe those aren’t your exact thoughts. Doesn’t matter, plug in your own.

Think back to the last time you ate something unconsciously. Something you didn’t even really want.

What were you thinking right before?

Write it down before you keep reading 📝

Then comes the feeling

Every thought hands you a feeling. Here’s how those ones tend to land:

• He shouldn’t be texting me → stressed, annoyed

• He’s so annoying → annoyed

• I never know what he wants → frustrated, confused

• I wish we were still together → sad, longing

And how do most of us handle an uncomfortable feeling at 10pm on a Tuesday?

We buffer. Which is just a fancy way of saying we find something to do so we don't have to feel it. And some of us buffer by going to the freezer 🍦

The hard part here was never the ice cream. It’s noticing the feeling before you’re already elbow deep in the carton.

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Here’s the part I want you to hear

I am never going to tell you not to eat something.

I have a bachelor’s in nutrition science and a master’s as a Physician Assistant, and I still believe your relationship with food matters more than any single thing you put in your mouth. Especially for women. We have had enough of the world telling us what we can and cannot eat.

So please, please, never shame yourself over a food (I know, much easier said than done).

If you head to the fridge when you’re sad, tired, frustrated, bored… that is not something to judge.

I’m pointing it out so we can get curious. Curious about the why.

And the why is almost always a feeling you didn’t want to sit in.

Why the awareness matters

If you don’t want to end up at the freezer every time your ex texts, you have to know why you’re going there in the first place. This is especially important if you have health goals and want to be aware of what you are eating (i.e. if you want to lose weight, gain muscle, lower your cholesterol, etc.).

You cannot change a pattern you can’t see. That’s why we start here 🧠

So think back to the last time food got away from you:

1. What were you thinking?

2. What were you feeling?

3. What did you do?

And be nice to yourself about it

Like I said earlier, we are NOT here to beat ourselves up about it. We are getting curious, learning about ourselves, and staying kind through the whole process.

And real talk: it can be hard to catch emotional eating in the moment.

You are probably going to do it again and only clock it two hours later, in bed, mid scroll. That is not failure. That is literally the practice. Becoming aware of it at some point (even if it’s hours later) is how we eventually catch it early.

We’re not here to shame ourselves, remember? 🤍

Okay, want to actually try it?

Reading about awareness is lovely. Doing it is the part that changes your life.

So here is the exact exercise I run on myself and with clients- grab a pen and paper. 📝

Step 1. Do a thought download.

Think of a time you ate something you didn’t want or plan to eat. Write down everything that happened. What you did, what you thought about it, how you felt. Doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect, just get it all out on paper. We call this a thought download.

Step 2. Pull out the facts.

Facts are the things that could be proven in a court of law. The things nobody could argue with. Circle the facts from your thought download.

Step 3. Pull out the thoughts.

Thoughts are opinions. They can’t be proven. They will absolutely feel like the truth, and here’s the kicker- they aren’t.

Step 4. Give every thought a feeling.

Go through them one at a time. Read each thought out loud, then write down how it makes you feel. Out loud matters- it is much harder to skim past something when you have to hear yourself say it.

Now look at what you’ve got in front of you. Every thought is producing a feeling.

And your feelings are the reason you do or do not do anything. That’s it. That is the whole engine.

Which is genuinely good news. You don’t get to control what happens to you. But the thought is yours. And the thought is where the whole thing starts 🧠

So back to the toxic ex and the ice cream. The reason I ate that carton was not that he texted me. It was that I felt anxious and frustrated, and I did not want to sit in it. So… instead of feeling those emotions, I avoided them by eating.

The text was just a text. The thought about the text created a feeling, and my action was to walk my ass to the freezer instead of allowing and processing my feelings.

That is what awareness actually looks like. Way less mystical but way more useful.

Your turn

Tell me in the comments: when do you catch yourself eating when you didn’t mean to?

For me now, it’s usually boredom or anxiety. And I don’t judge it, it’s just useful to know 😅

And that’s exactly the point. Now when I have a goal, or I’m trying to eat a certain way, I already know that a bored Brooke is a Brooke who ends up in the kitchen. So I can plan for her instead of getting blindsided by her 🤍

Coming up next: what to actually do when the feeling shows up and you want to eat your way out of it.

I love pickleball. I love sports. I love advocating for women. ⚽️🎾🏀

Last week I had pickleball on the TV and it hit me that half of what I was watching was women. Not a “women’s edition” special or one match buried at 11pm. Just women playing, in primetime, same channel, same production, treated like the most normal thing in the world.

And I sat there and thought: I have never seen this before in my life.

Not once.

Sports were a massive part of my childhood. My family watched everything (well, everything except women 😂). Not a dig to the fam, just facts that women’s sports weren’t as accessible to watch. We watched men’s basketball, football, golf, baseball- you name it. Sports on the TV were the norm, the background noise of my childhood if you will.

I played soccer and I loved it. But the first time I can recall watching women’s sports was the World Cup, in college, after I had moved out. And I had to really dig deep to find the games.

I didn’t notice at the time that women’s sports weren’t commonly shown on TV. I didn’t even think about it. And guess what- it quietly decided what I thought was possible for my life.

Let me expand

I knew I could play college soccer, but pro never even crossed my mind. College was the furthest thing I could picture, because it was the furthest thing I had ever seen. Older teammates went and played in college but none of the girls talked about playing pro.

College ball existed in my mind, pro ball did not.

It never entered my head as something a girl could do. And I never heard a single teammate say they wanted it either. Knowing the option is there and choosing not to take it is one thing. But not even thinking of it as an option takes away the choice entirely.

It wasn’t a talent problem. It was a belief problem. I didn’t think professional women’s sports was an actual career path. In my mind, I never saw it, so it didn’t exist.

And I wonder, if I had seen women playing the sport they loved on TV on a Saturday night, consistently, would it have ever crossed my mind?

Then layer on the script every girl gets handed: Go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that path, but it’s not the only path. And I believe you should choose intentionally, not just play follow the leader because that’s the “next thing to do”.

I’m not one to dwell on the past, but reflecting on this opens up the idea of possibilities for myself in a lot of other areas of life.

You cannot chase something you have never once considered.

And this goes wayyyyy beyond sports

Watching women play pickleball on the TV made me realize- anything is possible, but you have to dream. Ok stay with me, I’m not trying to get all woo woo on you but this is actually true.

For example: I went to grad school, became a physician assistant, and got a job. I figured my salary cap was around $130,000 if I was lucky. I never considered making more than that, because I assumed that was just the job market. That is what a physician assistant makes.

And then I got introduced to a life coach who opened my mind. What if you could dream big? What if you could have whatever it is you want?

Uhhhh, mic drop. 🎤

Making more money was something I had never even thought about, because I figured there was a cap. And so I dreamed big and set a goal... and I more than doubled my salary within a year. I would have never done that if I kept my belief that $130,000 was my cap.

There’s a lot more on this, and I’m going all the way into it in the paid section, because I watch it happen all the time. When you start considering the possibilities, your life becomes so grand.

So what’s different now

I turn on PickleballTV... and it’s women playing. Then men, then women, repeat. There’s even a thing called mixed doubles, where men and women compete on the same court together. It’s wild and so much fun. 🤩

Nobody frames the women’s matches as a special occasion. They aren’t the appetizer before the real thing, they’re just the thing.

A ten-year-old girl who turns on pickleball right now is going to grow up with a completely different set of assumptions than I did. Nobody’s going to have to tell her women can do this. She’ll know because she sees it.

And there’s one nineteen-year-old who has made that impossible to ignore. Her name is Anna Leigh Waters, and there’s a number attached to her that I think might be the most important statistic in women’s sports right now.

But the number isn’t really why I’m writing this. What I actually want to talk about is what it costs you, in your own life, to never once have seen the thing you were capable of and how to imagine a life bigger than you ever thought possible.

Ok, so if you don’t know pickleball superstar Anna Leigh Waters, she’s nineteen years old. She turned pro at twelve, and she’s ranked number one in singles, women’s doubles, and mixed doubles, all at the same time.

So here’s the number that blows my mind.

As of August 2026, her career prize money is around $7.26 million. The highest-earning man in the sport, Ben Johns, is at roughly $6.45 million.

She is not just the highest-paid woman in pickleball.

She is the highest-paid player in pickleball. Male or female.

And in January, Nike signed her as its first pickleball athlete in the entire history of the company.

The top earner in a professional sport is a teenage girl, and she is out-earning every man in it.

Now, that’s fucking badass. 👏

Okay. Here’s why I’m actually telling you this, and it isn’t because I’m a fan. (Although I am, of course. I’ve watched her play multiple times, I’ve met her, and she is locked in, fierce, and completely unapologetic about wanting to win, which is its own kind of radical for a woman. I am here for it.)

The point is what she does to a ten-year-old girl’s imagination.

As a life coach, one of the biggest things I see holding people back isn’t a lack of talent, skill, discipline, or work ethic.

It’s that they never even considered something as an option. They don’t dream big.

You cannot pursue something that hasn’t entered your head as available to you. You won’t fail at it and you won’t quit it. You’ll never get far enough to even be scared of it.

You aren’t dreaming big enough.

And to the people who say “I’m just being realistic and practical.” I’m talking to you. 👀

If that sounds familiar, that’s okay. That’s how most people think. It’s how I used to think every day. But if you feel a desire for something more, something bigger, if it feels like your life has more purpose in it than what you’re living right now, maybe you need to start dreaming bigger.

Listen. The world is open to you. I 100% know you can have what you want in life, but you have to be willing to sit in your imagination, think of all the things you truly want, and make them a goal first.

So here’s what I’d ask you, and I want you to actually answer it instead of skimming past it:

What have you already decided is not for people like you?

Not the things you tried and failed at. You know about those. I mean the things you have never once let yourself seriously consider.

• The career you’d call “not realistic.”

• The version of your body you want but don’t think you can attain.

• The move across the country.

• The business you’ve wanted to start for months.

• The standard you think is too high to ask for.

• The amount of money you want to make.

The version of your life you’d be a little embarrassed to say out loud because it seems too far-fetched.

Now, where did that ceiling come from?

Because I’d bet almost anything you didn’t choose it. Somebody handed it to you, or the absence of a single example did.

A ceiling you didn’t choose isn’t a fact about you. It’s just information you never got, and you can change that.

That’s what I’m actually excited about when I turn my TV on and half of it is women. Not the medals. Not the money. A young girl sees a nineteen-year-old Anna Leigh Waters at the top of an entire sport, and she is allowed to dream bigger.

Just knowing something is possible opens up the whole world.

And guess what, anything is possible.

When I was a young girl watching men’s sports on TV every day, I could have dreamt of women on that screen. But I didn’t have the emotional skills to do that as a child. Luckily, as an adult, I do. I imagine a life for myself that’s so magnificent, and I work toward it daily.

So I’m here to tell you: dream big. You’ll know you’re dreaming big enough when it starts to feel scary. When it feels far-fetched and unattainable, you’re expanding your mind. Sit in that.

Dream even bigger than the evidence you were given.

So here are five questions to sit with this week 🖊️

Grab a notebook. Don’t answer these fast, and don’t edit yourself while you write. Allow yourself to get lost in your imagination.

1. If money, time, and other people’s opinions were not a factor, what would you be doing one year from now?

2. What is something you want that you have never said out loud to anyone? Why haven’t you?

3. Where in your life have you called something “realistic” when what you actually meant was “safe”?

4. Who taught you what was possible for someone like you? Did they actually know?

5. What would you go after tomorrow if you knew you would achieve it?

Now go back and find the answer that scared you the most.

That’s the one. 💛

Comment on this post and share your biggest dream- who knows, you may even open up the possibilities for someone else!

I spent most of my 20s broke. Not “broke” like a fun little bit. Broke like undergrad-then-grad-school, living entirely off student loans broke. So trust me, I get the instinct to buy the cheap thing. When you don’t have disposable income, “quality over quantity” sounds like something rich people say to other rich people.

Except here’s the plot twist: buying quality is what actually got me out of broke-girl spending habits. Not into them.

The $50 leggings that changed everything

Let me tell you about my first pair of Lululemon leggings.

It was my last year at Cal Poly Pomona (go Broncos 🐎), and I was a certified gym rat (so much so that I even worked at the rec center on campus). I had never owned a pair of Lululemons. But that Black Friday, leggings were $50 across the board, and I’d saved up enough. I bought them on my way to my second job (which was as a suite attendant at the Rose Bowl, so you can say I was extra motivated that shift to make a lot in tips 😂). I walked out with my first “nice” pair of leggings. Part of me was excited, the other part had crippling anxiety knowing I spent 50 whole dollars on them and not really sure if it was worth it 😄

That was 2016.

It’s now 2026. I still have those leggings (I even ran a half marathon in them in 2023 😂)

This isn’t a Lululemon ad (though respect for making a $50 pair of leggings that have survived a full decade). It just taught me a lot. I learned that spending more up front can mean spending less overall and that the way you think about money greatly affects how much money you make. I don’t have the receipts from 2016 on the amount I spent on “cheap” leggings, but I can guarantee I spent more than $50 total on cheap leggings that same year… and I have ZERO of those leggings 10 years later. 😂

What actually changed was my thinking

As I got a little older and could afford to spend more per item, I was still held back by my scarcity thoughts around money. It wasn’t until I changed them (we will go more into this later) that I actually noticed I was spending less overall- because I was buying quality over quantity.

Now I’m not telling you to go buy things you can’t afford. What I am telling you is: I had to look at my actual beliefs about money before I could let myself buy something nicer without the guilt spiral (because even with that first Lululemon purchase, I DEFINITELY still had the guilt spiral 😅).

Here’s the part that gets uncomfortable. I have a friend- 35 years old, stable job, homeowner, and I know roughly what she makes a year- who has straight up said she’s judging me for buying higher-ticket items. When we actually broke down our spending? I spend less on clothes than she does. She’s not doing anything wrong with how she shops and I would never ask or expect her to change her approach. BUT it did show me something.

Sometimes we hold onto beliefs we developed years, sometimes decades, prior without even thinking about it.

Sometimes these beliefs run on autopilot and you never even think to question if you still want to believe them or not. My friend never realized that she was telling herself “I don’t have enough money” when that actually wasn’t true. She was just repeating a thought to herself in the background that she’d had for years. A better story to tell is “I’d rather not spend my money on xyz.” This puts you in control.

Spot your limiting money belief

So how do you know if you’ve got a limiting money belief? Well, it’s usually quieter than you’d think.

Ask yourself:

• What do I actually believe about money?

• What’s the last thing I bought, and why did I buy it?

• What do I think about people who have a lot of money?

Now check which column your answers fall into:

“Money is hard. I never have enough. Money doesn’t matter. People with money are greedy.”

—or—

“Money is easy. Money is fun. Money lets me live how I want. I love money.”

If you landed mostly in column one- that’s not a personality trait, that’s a way of thinking that a lot of us have. If you think “I don’t have enough money” (without actually knowing your income, net worth, budget, etc.)- you’re likely running on a scarcity mindset. And here’s the part I’ll say plainly: if you keep operating from scarcity, you will not make more money. You are capping yourself by the way you are thinking. I said it. 😅

But that’s actually really good news. Because only YOU can control how you think- so that means you actually have all the power and ability to change it.

I also want to be clear- I am NOT saying systemic barriers to making money don’t exist. They absolutely do, and pretending otherwise would be, quite frankly, ludicrous. But the thing you have control over right now, today, is how you think about money. That part’s yours- always and forever.

Next up: the actual exercise I use to catch my own scarcity-mindset moments before they turn into a spending decision I regret. Plus the reframe script I say to myself instead. That’s for paid subscribers.

Okay, here’s what helped me

I’ll say the thing plainly: money is my friend. My bestie if you will 👯‍♀️.

I love money. I love making it, and honestly, I love giving it away too. The more I make, the more I donate, and the more generous I feel. That’s not a humble-brag, that’s just… how the relationship works best for me personally.

But that doesn’t mean everything is perfect all the time. I still struggle with big purchases. But that noise in my head has definitely lessened, and I know how to work through it to make meaningful purchases.

I don’t sit in a scarcity mindset on the daily anymore (although every once in a while those old thought patterns do creep in and I have to work myself through them 😅). I know if I spend money, I can (and will) make it back.

I’ve come far (as fuck) on my money mindset since that 2016 Lululemon leggings purchase, BUT, like a toxic ex 🙃, sometimes those old patterns creep back in… I just now know how to kindly say screw you to my silly brain. Old beliefs may still linger, and that’s ok! But now I know why I’m hesitating, instead of just calling it “responsible” and moving on… or worse, making a purchase from a bad headspace 😰.

The belief that never got the memo

I didn’t wake up one day and decide money was my friend. I had to trace the belief back first, though I’ll spare you the full origin story. Short version: childhood, and being socialized as a woman. We could be here all day, so let’s fast forward to the part that actually matters.

I legit didn’t have the money to buy multiple $50 pairs of leggings back in 2016, but my beliefs limited me way more than my bank account ever did. “Cheap” felt like the only choice. So even after I graduated from Cal Poly, then grad school, and started making six figures as a Physician Assistant, I was still terrified to spend any money. Some people would call that responsible. It wasn’t. I was still living inside my old beliefs, the ones that said I’d never have enough and I was still broke, even though none of that was true anymore. The beliefs just never got the memo that my bank account had changed.

That’s exactly what almost happened with my $50 leggings. The purchase was never really about the leggings. It was proof, in real time, that the old belief, “I can’t spend on quality, I don’t have enough,” wasn’t actually a fact about my income. It was a thought I’d never questioned, one that was still present even though I was making much more money. The bank account changed. The mindset didn’t, not until I made it.

How “I don’t have enough money” limits you from making more

I said this already and I think it’s worth revisiting: if you keep operating from scarcity, you will not make more money.

Here’s specifically how that plays out:

• You don’t ask for the raise: because some part of you has already decided you don’t deserve it, or that wanting it makes you greedy.

• You underprice yourself: your service, your product, your time- because charging what you’re worth feels like a stretch you’re not allowed to make.

• You stay in the safe, comfortable option: even when it’s not the one you actually want, because change feels expensive and expensive feels dangerous.

• You don’t reinvest in yourself: a course, a coach, better tools- because spending on your own growth still feels like an indulgence instead of a strategy.

• You say no to the opportunity before you even get the full details: because your nervous system already decided the answer is “we can’t afford that.”

None of that is about how much money is actually in your account.

Scarcity mindset leads to playing small, playing small leads to fewer opportunities, fewer opportunities lead to less money, and less money “confirms” the belief that “you don’t have enough”. It’s a trap that builds its own evidence.

The checkout script

When I’m about to make a “big” purchase (big is relative, it’s really just whatever amount makes me feel a little on edge), here’s what I actually run through:

• Do I actually know my numbers? Most of the anxiety isn’t about the purchase, it’s about not knowing what’s coming in, going out, and already invested. If you don’t know that, of course every purchase feels scary. Know your numbers first and foremost. (I’ll have another post on this, don’t worry)

• Is this aligned with what’s already high-value to me? I don’t hesitate to spend on things that further my growth (physical or mental challenges, education, emotional resilience), experiences, or my dogs (food, training, whatever keeps them well). If it fits one of those, I don’t need to overthink it. It’s already a yes.

• What will this actually bring into my life? Doesn’t have to be deep. “I just want it” is a real answer. But ask the question instead of skipping it.

• Would I still want this in 6 months? If the honest answer is no, I probably don’t actually want it now either, I just want the hit of buying something.

And here’s the thing nobody expects: the more I buy quality, the less I actually spend overall, because I stop throwing money at stuff I don’t care about.

The reframe script

My actual mantra, the one I picked up during a year-long course literally called Money Is My Friend, is exactly what it sounds like: money is my friend 🫶🏼. (Courtesy of the amazing life coach Brooke Castillo- who by the way makes a SHIT TON of money).

I don’t mean that in a woo-woo, manifestation way. I mean I actually treat money like a relationship… like my friend, my bestie if you will. Something I want to cherish, respect and be kind to. Not something I white-knuckle, ignore, resent or hoard out of fear. Not something I don’t know anything about (aka not knowing my net worth, what I spend money on, etc.).

Money mindset audit 💚

Ok so here’s what I want you to do. I want you to think deeply about these questions below. Write down your answers and be honest with your response. The first step is awareness, then you can start deciding if your beliefs serve you or not.

• What do you think about money?

• What do you want to think about money?

• What is currently working well with your relationship with money?

• What is not working well with your relationship with money?

• Do you treat your money like a friend? How so?

Start noticing the pattern. Start asking the questions. The first step is awareness. Just become aware of how you think and treat money. Comment below your answers, we are all in this together!

Ten years from now, I want you still wearing your version of the $50 leggings- not still standing in the same aisle, buying the same $8 tank top, telling yourself the same story about what you can’t afford. The leggings were never really about the leggings. Be a good friend to your money, and it’ll be a good friend right back. 🎉

I just opened up a Chat space right here on Substack. Think of it like a group chat, minus the group chat chaos (b/c let’s be real, the constant buzzing of group chats gives me anxiety 😅).

I want this to be a judgment free space to ask questions, share wins (no matter how big or small), and be around other women who are done playing small.

It’s a space to talk to like minded people- because no one should feel alone no matter what they’re going through.

Come say hi 👋🏼 introduce yourself, tell me what brought you here, or just lurk until you’re ready. No pressure, just an open door.

Talk to you soon,

Brooke

Yes, I want in!

The universe tried to put me on the sideline but I’m a starter in this game called life.

I recently got laid off and then I hurt my knee badly enough that I can barely walk (cool cool). Now I can’t currently play the sport I’m mildly obsessed with- pickleball (iykyk). Very much “the stars aligned” of the universe. 🌟

Except… I don't really believe in dwelling on what I can't control.

I can’t control that I got laid off. I can’t control that my knee is currently unusable. What I can control is what I do next and how I think about it. So naturally, my petty response to getting benched by the universe is: start the Substack I’ve been sitting on for way too long. Let me show the stars who the boss is here. 💅🏼

So Hi, I'm Brooke 🌞💃

I’m a little bit of a jack-of-all traits kind of gal. I’m a certified life coach with a bachelor’s in nutrition science, a master’s as a Physician Assistant, and a past life as a group fitness instructor. I’ve spent years helping women untangle their relationship with their body image while meeting their fitness goals. I’m an athlete and full-time gym rat who found pickleball a few years ago and now can’t shut up about it (ask literally anyone who knows me). And I’ve got two dogs who, as it turns out, have taught me more about human psychology than most of the self help books I read (oh… and I LOVE THEM SO FREAKING MUCH UGGGGHHH). Sorry the cuteness aggression sometimes comes out when I talk about them. 🐶🐾

I say "fuck the patriarchy" pretty much daily.

And I genuinely believe one of the most effective ways to do that is women taking up more room. In the gym, at work, and mostly, in their own heads.

This is a space to discuss and improve on the hard parts of of health goals. The getting to the workouts after a 10 hour shift, sticking to eating your meal prep when In-N-Out sounds reallllyyyy good, and that silly little voice going “but I’m tirrreeddd… maybe tomorrow” 😴.

So enough about me, what about you?? What can YOU expect ⬇️

I’ll be writing weekly about the stuff I actually think and talk about- why you already know what to do and still can’t get yourself to do it, your relationship with food and the whole 9pm kitchen thing, mental health and the tools that actually work. Some posts will be free for everyone. Others- the deeper exercises, the scripts I actually use on myself, the stuff that I mostly talk to in depth with the people I am closest with… will be for paid subscribers (down the line).

If any of that sounds like your kind of thing: subscribe

I wouldn’t want you missing out on how I focus my mind when shit hits the fan, plus the practical steps you can actually use in your own life. Because we are all MVPs in life, and we deserve to be out there playing, not on the bench watching.

And if you’ve got a badass bestie who needs this in her inbox too- send it her way. She’ll thank you later. 🫶🏼

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